Alcoholic?

Headache. Vertigo. These two are my everyday companion. My morning appetizer. How ironic. It's 10:00 already. I tried to get up but my head is still spinning. I can hear the rooster crowing in the distant. In this time of day? My brows puckered. I laughed. I'm stupid.

I slowly got up from the dirty maze of pillows and linens. I looked around and I can see chaos, pandemonium, turmoil. I dont care. I went to the bathroom.Washed my face and stared into the man in front of me. Bloodshot eyes, creased forehead and scanty graying mane. Everyday I see this man. I hate him. Loathed him to the extent that I want to kill him but I'm not a murderer.

The pan sizzled as I descended the stairs. She stared at me. "Did you heat some water", my croaky voice asked. No reply. I made myself a cup of coffee, sat at the terrace and stared into space. I thought about last night.

In a trance. Added by a few laughs, talks. Talking about anything. True or false? It doesn't matter. Problems evaporate. That was clear to me. That's the reason why I love it. The reason why I kept coming back for it.  My sweet escape.

A vague memory of last night. Talk, confrontation, clash, argument, fight, skirmish, battle, broken glass? At home? Her? I don't want to think about it.

I finished my coffee. I'm excited. Tonight will be another night. Night of trance like state.