Love Month

I wonder why people are so ecstatically inlove everytime February comes when every month can be a love month. There should be no special month to love because love can sweep us off our feet anytime of the day unexpectedly. However, that Valentine fever was fun. A lot of people seemed so happy, glowing with love and so eager to tell their love stories. Anyway, this month's a stressful month for me at work and I barely had enough sleep due to a crazy shifting schedule. More self discovery as well and travel plans in mind. Speaking of travel plans, I can finally go home middle of this year and something I really look forward to. Yey! This year, I hope to go to places I've never been to. Starting off, Laguna.

After tackling a lot of stressful things at work lately, it's refreshing to unwind, relax and have a great laugh.

*From Makati,Metro Manila, it would take around an hour or two to reach the province of Laguna including light traffic. There are public buses around Quezon City that one can take but we opted to rent a van for convenience. Upon reaching the vicinity, you can already see the beautiful Mount Makiling towering the town. Laguna is known not only as the birthplace of the Philippine's National Hero but also for its hotspring resorts. In Pansol, Calamba City where we are headed, I noticed that streets were narrow. Since Calamba City is known as the resort capital of the Philippines, you will be overwhelmed with so many private resort choices once you're there. The trend is, you will rent the whole resort so that you and your family or friends can have fun and dip in the water privately. All you have to do is pay for the place which includes a pool, rooms, kitchen, recreation area, etc. Food? You need to  bring your own food and beverages and cook your own dish.This is great for group or family outings, teambuildings and anything of that sort.

It's a leap year and my 2nd year on Blogger! Cheers! To celebrate, I've changed the look of my blog to a simple yet elegant-looking theme. I'm loving it and more years to come for my blogs.


I'm just happy today because I woke up from a long slumber of deception. I realized that I've been chasing the wrong things when I should be letting the right things catch me. Now everything's perfectly clear to me and thanks for the experience, I've learned something new. More great things to come and I'll just enjoy life wherever it leads me.  ☺

Bading Goodbye

The rain is about to pour and a light breeze is blowing making the leaves fall and flutter to the ground. It seems like the weather and I is one. It is sympathizing, expressing the feelings I can't show. The darkness is slowly crawling its way out, consuming the light and I know anytime today the sky will cry. The streets were lonely and empty when I passed by  except for the random vehicles and civilians passing by.  I heard  muffled voices inside those brick homes. I traversed  with my normal walk feeling a little  heavy inside. No, I was and I'm still feeling  heavy. I am back at this lonely place where all I can see are the four, paint-peeling walls. But nothing is lonelier than what I am feeling right now and perhaps I am the loneliest being  on the planet. My heart's crying inside and it's sore. I want to cry and I wish my eyes are welling with tears but there is no more to pour. I'll just let the sky cry for me. Let it flood until all these hurt are washed away. I wish I could do more than just sulk but what good will it do? It wouldn’t change the fact that you're going to fulfill your dreams somewhere and you're taking all my dreams away because you are everything I dreamed for. I wish we are actors in a movie where I can say "stay" and you'd say "I will." But this is reality and a lot of non-fiction stories do not have happy endings. Maybe in time I can say goodbye but not now. 

Changes

I looked at the date and just realized that it's already the second month of the year. When you are occupied, time really ticks fast. Fortunately, it wasn’t a wasted time. Walking down memory lane, I can see that January  was indeed the beginning of change for me this year.

Career wise,  I decided to move to chat support. Though I'm back to taking calls for the past two weeks, I know that I'm already  a part of a different team and work routine. Maybe I'm just so fed up of taking calls, that I want to try something new and something different from what I'm currently doing. This career change also means acquiring a new skill which is a good addition to my resume and an improvement to my professional marketability.

For the last 3 years, I have been planning to get my passport but due to laziness and probably unwillingness, I wasn’t able to process it. What's the use of planning when there is no action? But after 3 years of planning, I finally made a move to process it through online appointment. After setting the appointment, I went to DFA all by myself in this unfamiliar place. Gladly, it didn’t take a whole day to process it and in a few days time, I will be able to get my hands on that little brown book which is my primary ticket to tour the world.

When it comes to health, I've been going to the gym and have been doing a one hour jogging regularly. I've been meaning to do these last year and told myself that I should really do it this year. It's not only about losing weight but it's also about being more conscious to my health especially that my line of work is prone to illnesses.

It might sound superficial to include physical change but physical appearance is also a factor that can make or break a person's confidence and outlook towards life. This year, instead of going straight, I opted to go for dyed curly locks. Hair is our crowning glory and when we change our do, it really makes a huge difference on how we look. I like it and so does a lot of people.

Change of Attitude? Well, I've been telling myself lately to refrain from seeing the bad side of people. I'm always reminding myself that one mistake is not enough to forget their good side. I'm also pushing myself to become emotionally stronger because I think that there is no point lingering on something that will only bring us hurt.  Thus, I told myself to always move on and know that there is a rainbow after the rain.

I have always been open to changes and new ideas . This year, I am widening my doors for better changes and greater ideas and opportunities. I am looking forward to experience something new and different. 

Hurt

I am back again in my own little virtual turf. Not only I come here for passion. Many of my sojourns here are elicited by emotions I can't contain. Writing is perhaps one of the most stress-relieving activities there is especially for those who love to write. Now, I feel melancholic, dejected and hurt. I yearn to vacillate these emotions into deep words that reach the core of the heart. Yet oftentimes, words are not enough to express what we truly feel. Mr. Sunshine is gone and the clouds are rolling in ready to pour the rain. As I add more words, I feel like I am being squeezed tighter and tighter until probably I can't breathe. Hurt can pull even the strongest person down and brings us to our worst. It can leave scars that will mar our hearts forever but when we look at the brighter side, it will make us stronger and more capable. We get hurt but we'll get by eventually.

Welcoming 2012!

Cheers!

2012 is here. I was just reading my old post way back Jan/11 and there was a part there where I've asked "what will 2011 bring?"  2011 was a great year for maybe a lot of us. We may have had ups and downs but look at us, we had survived another year and welcomed 2012 with warmth, smiles and excitement. Personally, it was a challenging year for me but it was also the year when I made some of my dreams become a reality. I made some of them happen and yes it was pretty exciting and I when I look back and think about my experiences, I must say I made it through life with flying colors! What I've learned about the past year is to never give up and this year, I'm going to make more of my dreams come true. 

My mindset this year is to: 

photo taken from bianca's blog.

Dreams are there to guide us, leading us to where we want to be and what we can be. They are our north star and can make the impossible possible. We need to keep on dreaming!

Love is inevitable. It sustains us, make us weak but at the same time, make us strong making life more interesting and it's the reason why we keep on living. Love and be loved!

Travel for me this year is about traversing the road of life. Whatever or whomever I may encounter in this journey will only make my life more colorful and exciting. Travel and always move forward!

I've always said that I'm one of the lamest when it comes to New Year's Resolution but here I am making one.

1. Less self-love and more love for others

2. Save!

3. Make my two new year's resolutions happen! :-P

2012, bring it on!

11/26/11

thoughts are flowing from my head. like a river, powerful and deep. i want to put these thoughts into writing but not all. nostalgia is creeping up on me as i scan photos, read recent posts and heartwarming stories over the web. behind those cottony clouds, the sun is hiding. but these clouds can't hide the wind that's forcing it's way into my window. it feels good to chat with an old friend. i feel like time machine has pulled me back to my adolescence. relieving happy memories is bittersweet. it gives you joy at the same time makes you sad knowing you can't go back to those days. but who am i to complain?i had happy days and for sure i will have, even better. i know.

i wonder where my thoughts will take me. a few hours more and the day's light will go into slumber. i'm thinking of a total stranger. someone i barely know yet makes the butterfly in my stomach flutter. not typical of me to write something like this but yes that stranger makes me feel that way. i guess my thoughts have wondered too far. the song cry me a river is on the background, the fan whirs and the rest is silence. it's solitude. 

i'm almost awake 24 hours. i'll catch some sleep and maybe dreams will take me even farther. 

My Random Thoughts

The music player has been playing songs since quarter past eight today. Most of the songs played reach the core of the heart but brings no effect on me. Mr. Sunshine is up today but dark clouds are forming over the horizon. They're headed our way and there's a great chance that its going to rain later this afternoon or tonight. The air from the ceiling fan is causing my head to spin and I feel like I'm drowning. Regardless, I'm still writing because I want to and I'm feeling sprightly today to be lying on bed. 

The room is messy and I'm on the dirty floor sitting like an Indian because we don't have any chair to seat on. I can hear the dogs barking, I hear the sound of planes flying to and fro, I hear someone playing the guitar. I can hear the sound of someone sweeping the lonely streets below. I don't know where this is headed but I just wanted to keep on writing until my fingers sore. 

I promiscuously sing with my music player, sometimes singing my heart out uncaring about the next-door neighbors' reaction. I'm browsing someone's blog because the way he writes inspires me. Every time I write something like this, I always check his blog and maybe after reading his posts three more times, I'll probably memorize every word. 

It's starting to get really hot.My hands and feet are sweating.I hate the big fly buzzing around and I don't know how it got here. I wish I could swat it with my two hands but that would be too gross. I would be traversing the busy streets of the city later to have some fun and maybe meet new people. Life in the city is totally different from my simple and solitude life way back home but I feel no regrets. 

It's seventeen minutes past two. I'll end this for now and write and rant some more next time. 

The Happy Saver!

Lately I've really been thinking about my future and what it will bring. At the age of 24, I know I'm still young to take life seriously. But there's no harm in planning a brighter future for myself as early as now right? To start off, I opened a new bank account and started saving. Yehey, a big clap for myself! This is surely one great first step for me considering my attitude of being a compulsive-buyer. By saving a portion of my hard-earned salary, I could be able to invest on something more valuable like a real estate property or a car or probably take a luxury vacation abroad. With discipline and willingness, I know I can make it! Good luck to myself!

One Year More

It's past 1am and I'm already sleepy but I don't want to sleep yet.  My phone's playing the saved songs and my roommate is probably having her dreams. The last two days had been terrible due to rain and harsh wind which cause our umbrellas to turn upside down. I really want to write something different and nice today but I'm not sure if I'm doing the right thing. This is the second draft I made because the internet connection fucked up and I lost my first draft.

The month of September marks another year of my life. My birthdays don't excite me that much but I'm really thankful with the life that has been given to me and appreciate the people who made my life more meaningful. My undying thanks! I wish myself more birthdays to come coupled with happiness and contentment.☺

Few days before my 24th birthday. (This photo is proof that I super love myself, a narcissist.LOL)

For the last couple of months, I was really feeling happy but just this afternoon, my spirit is down because I know I made some pretty lame alibis that might have disappointed and hurt other people's feelings. It might have hurt them but I know I did the right thing because I dont want to make complicated things become more complicated. I don't want to entangle myself to a relationship which I'm not part of in the first place.

Matters of the heart can become so complicated but love sometimes work that way. Of course, I'm not talking about my love story because mine hasn't come yet. LoL! I'm talking about these two people I know who found love in each other's arm but both of  them are tied down to their own unhappy married life. Oh well, love works in a different way. I wish them the best whatever that is. ♥

Daysleeper

In my line of work, it is normal to work at night and sleep during the day. However, after months of being back in this industry, my body clock is still having difficulties adjusting to rotating shifts. Often times, I wake up after 3-4 hours of sleep. Today I only slept an hour or two and after having to do nothing, I'd made some research about different sleep disorders. I think I'm experiencing Circadian rhythm disorder or simply shift work sleep disorder. This type of sleeping disorder happens when our biological clock and work schedule are not in sync. Right now, I'm tracking my sleep patterns and engaging myself in activities that will help me sleep like reading and I always take advantage of those days when I had the opportunity to sleep peacefully.

Isn't it nice to be able to sleep as peacefully as this sweet little angel?

Sleep is one of life's luxuries that we can't afford.