Again

Long, hot, stressful day it was. I was tired physically. I am tired still, not physically. Is it really meant for me? Am I destined to become one? Because I don't want to become one. Is it about stability? I like that but nothing is stable. It's how you make out of life.

I want to see the different angles of the so-called "cityscapes." I want to escape from this prison cells called poverty and innocence. That might save me from poverty but innocence? How about inexperienced? I have this feeling that staying here is like building a wall between my own smalltown and the big city. And I don't want to hate my hometown because of it nor hating "it." It's payback time, I know. Part of me wants to pursue and go deeper as a sign of my eternal gratitude but becoming one is like chaining myself from fulfilling my dreams. For fulfilling what I really wanted.

As I've tried to start planning the design of my stepping stones to reach my dreams, it comes blocking my way.It always does and then just leaves me, them, us hanging. It confuses me yet I sometimes think that maybe I was really destined for it. That fate had long finished my story and just waiting for it to be published.

Whatever happens, I hope I can make everyone happy whatever HAPPYness means.